Åhh jo, det skal vi da lige ;-)lørdag, marts 15, 2008
fredag, marts 14, 2008
torsdag, marts 13, 2008
Ugens overskrifter på EkstraHadet
Hvor får de det dog fra???
Danmark fristed for elskere af dyresex
Bøsser drak Jokke fuld
Udrykning til bagsædesex
Sær gnom skræmmer sydamerikanere
Skuespiller vred over lille pik
fredag, marts 07, 2008
Når ord er overflødige II
Og ja, jeg må godt poste den slags i disse Muhammed-tider, for min Far er præst ...
torsdag, marts 06, 2008
Endnu et svar fra Niskes fætter
Niske og Marie - Fun loving animals sender ofte lange beskrivende mails om deres oplevelser - og da de skrev lidt for USA-kritisk om mødet med Miami, meldte en af de mange indavlede fætre fra USA sig ind i koret og sendte os en længere svada om Bush-Amerikas herligheder. Indlægget er desværre slettet fra min indbox (Måske kan Stigsen hjælpe med at finde det)
Men her er et dugfrisk brev fra Niskes fætre: Cledus Nietzsche & Red. N.Ecki fra Arizona:
Damn hippies!!!
Here is my take on your socalled leftwing road nature-trip:
Get a haircut, buy a Chevrolet and a proper gun! Global warning is amyth - say it! If you don't love it - leave it.Well, knock me down and steal muh teeth! Butter my butt and call me abiscuit. I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style. Ithink Amerika is cute as a sack full of puppies, and if things get anybetter, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it. Miami and itscarpark is gooder than grits. The place is so dry, the trees arebribing the dogs, and it's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepperpatch.
Reading your mail is so hard to do, that it's like trying to herdcats. And your momma's so fat, when she got on the scales to beweighed, it said 'To be continued'.
And the communist guy from the Zoo fell out of the ugly tree and hitevery branch on the way down, and with him the wheels are stillturning, but the hamsters dead. My advice from my rocking chair is:"Can I eat it - can it eat me? - can I fuck it - Can it fuck me?" - so damn left wing Kyoto-loving seal huggers - get your asses home and geta real job - what about pumping some gaz or flop some cheeseburgersat the ol B-B-que-Grill at good ol' MacDonalds - You'd be loving it!
Best Regards from Michaels two cousins; Cledus Nietzsche and Red. N.Eck, Tuscon Arizona.
Here is my take on your socalled leftwing road nature-trip:
Get a haircut, buy a Chevrolet and a proper gun! Global warning is amyth - say it! If you don't love it - leave it.Well, knock me down and steal muh teeth! Butter my butt and call me abiscuit. I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style. Ithink Amerika is cute as a sack full of puppies, and if things get anybetter, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it. Miami and itscarpark is gooder than grits. The place is so dry, the trees arebribing the dogs, and it's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepperpatch.
Reading your mail is so hard to do, that it's like trying to herdcats. And your momma's so fat, when she got on the scales to beweighed, it said 'To be continued'.
And the communist guy from the Zoo fell out of the ugly tree and hitevery branch on the way down, and with him the wheels are stillturning, but the hamsters dead. My advice from my rocking chair is:"Can I eat it - can it eat me? - can I fuck it - Can it fuck me?" - so damn left wing Kyoto-loving seal huggers - get your asses home and geta real job - what about pumping some gaz or flop some cheeseburgersat the ol B-B-que-Grill at good ol' MacDonalds - You'd be loving it!
Best Regards from Michaels two cousins; Cledus Nietzsche and Red. N.Eck, Tuscon Arizona.
Nå ord er alt nok ...
Jeg fik lige denne fra en kollega. Og ja, den er lidt lang, men den er fa'mer sjav ...
*****
I have bought my share of t-shirts from T-Shirt Hell and thus read your tri-monthly newsletter. The most recent newsletter is unusually insightful and not the regular truck load of sarcastic comments wrapped in filth:
>>snip<<
Since the number of presidential candidates has been winnowed down to a mere handful over the past few weeks, I have been in desperate need of seeing a huge collection of douchebags in one place. So, I decided to watch the Academy Awards last week. There I was, watching the Oscars on my picture-in-picture screen. And as I watched these bloated egos and self-aggrandizing jerkoffs pat themselves on their collective back, I couldn't help but compare it to what I was viewing on my main screen:
hardcore pornography.
It was in that moment that I had the following realization: mainstream art is just porn for your emotions. When you think about it, lust is an emotion just like any other. The only difference is that instead of coming out in the form of laughter or tears, it comes out in the form of cloudy goo. And if you’re really lucky, it still comes out on or in the face of a loved one: so really, it’s virtually identical to the rest of them.
Art is just a way for us to feed whatever emotions we are feeling at the moment. When you're angry, you may listen to a metal album to get it out of your system. When you're sad, you'll check out a tearjerker to have a good cry. If you need a good laugh, you watch the Zapruder film. The same goes if you need a gaygood scare, a thrill, and so on. Art is just there to serve our emotional needs, and porn is no different.
In its own way, porn is the purest form of art. Largely because its merit isn't up for debate. Did you get your nut? "Yes." Well then the porn worked. Whereas when someone laughs at a lame sitcom or cries during an episode of Grey's Anatomy; we'll judge them and tell them they're wrong- however honest their reaction may have been. None of that with porn. If you came, it was a triumph. No thumbs up/thumbs down, no star grading system: just proof-positive that the work accomplished its goal… right there in that wad of tissues.
I don't want to seem like I'm giving porn too much undue praise here. At the end of the day, I know it's incredibly easy to produce; the people who produce it are attention-starved assholes; and ultimately, what they provide me with I can provide for myself if I really care to. But you know what? The same exact thing can be said of so called real "artists."
So, don't think of this as a tip of the hat to the porn industry. Think of this as my way of saying that creative types aren't all that important either. Ron Jeremy will never be held in the same regard as Marlon Brando, nor should he be. But you know who else shouldn't be held in the same regard as Marlon Brando? Marlon Brando. To anyone who has the ability to think and create for themselves (which is everyone, if they'd only take five seconds to realize it), porn stars and "legitimate" actors are equally useless.
Art - just like love and all other abstract concepts - is nice to have in your life, maybe even necessary. But when you get right down to it, it is cheap to come by and you can always get it from a different source.
So, to all the artists out there - be you musicians, film makers or anything else - get the fuck over yourselves. You're already obsolete; you just don't know it yet. Fortunately for you, not many other people do either. Until then...Hooray for (a world without) Hollywood.
Snipped from
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/newsletter/newsletter_030308.php
*****
I have bought my share of t-shirts from T-Shirt Hell and thus read your tri-monthly newsletter. The most recent newsletter is unusually insightful and not the regular truck load of sarcastic comments wrapped in filth:
>>snip<<
Since the number of presidential candidates has been winnowed down to a mere handful over the past few weeks, I have been in desperate need of seeing a huge collection of douchebags in one place. So, I decided to watch the Academy Awards last week. There I was, watching the Oscars on my picture-in-picture screen. And as I watched these bloated egos and self-aggrandizing jerkoffs pat themselves on their collective back, I couldn't help but compare it to what I was viewing on my main screen:
hardcore pornography.
It was in that moment that I had the following realization: mainstream art is just porn for your emotions. When you think about it, lust is an emotion just like any other. The only difference is that instead of coming out in the form of laughter or tears, it comes out in the form of cloudy goo. And if you’re really lucky, it still comes out on or in the face of a loved one: so really, it’s virtually identical to the rest of them.
Art is just a way for us to feed whatever emotions we are feeling at the moment. When you're angry, you may listen to a metal album to get it out of your system. When you're sad, you'll check out a tearjerker to have a good cry. If you need a good laugh, you watch the Zapruder film. The same goes if you need a gaygood scare, a thrill, and so on. Art is just there to serve our emotional needs, and porn is no different.
In its own way, porn is the purest form of art. Largely because its merit isn't up for debate. Did you get your nut? "Yes." Well then the porn worked. Whereas when someone laughs at a lame sitcom or cries during an episode of Grey's Anatomy; we'll judge them and tell them they're wrong- however honest their reaction may have been. None of that with porn. If you came, it was a triumph. No thumbs up/thumbs down, no star grading system: just proof-positive that the work accomplished its goal… right there in that wad of tissues.
I don't want to seem like I'm giving porn too much undue praise here. At the end of the day, I know it's incredibly easy to produce; the people who produce it are attention-starved assholes; and ultimately, what they provide me with I can provide for myself if I really care to. But you know what? The same exact thing can be said of so called real "artists."
So, don't think of this as a tip of the hat to the porn industry. Think of this as my way of saying that creative types aren't all that important either. Ron Jeremy will never be held in the same regard as Marlon Brando, nor should he be. But you know who else shouldn't be held in the same regard as Marlon Brando? Marlon Brando. To anyone who has the ability to think and create for themselves (which is everyone, if they'd only take five seconds to realize it), porn stars and "legitimate" actors are equally useless.
Art - just like love and all other abstract concepts - is nice to have in your life, maybe even necessary. But when you get right down to it, it is cheap to come by and you can always get it from a different source.
So, to all the artists out there - be you musicians, film makers or anything else - get the fuck over yourselves. You're already obsolete; you just don't know it yet. Fortunately for you, not many other people do either. Until then...Hooray for (a world without) Hollywood.
Snipped from
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/newsletter/newsletter_030308.php
fredag, februar 29, 2008
Tilbage i skoen
"Her, på Ørting-Falling gamle skole, fangede jeg i slutningen af 18hundredetallet en løbsk gnu, som efter at have omløbet degnens niece tog til at bisse - ganske vist i ensomhed, men alligevel. Gnuen er netop løbet østen ind i kirkefløjen, hvorfor den ikke er på billedet. Det er mig i de grønne sokker helt bagerst på billedet."
Patter, balleklask, snurrende fjernsyn og indkøbsvogne.... Jo, standarden er steget siden sidste sæson. Det eneste der måske mangler ville være en mindre feature med centrifugerende pelsdyr... skal se om jeg kan finde videoen et sted - jeg burde have den. I midlertid må i nøjes med en historie, som jeg fik genopfrisket, da jeg i egen høje person sørgede for at Odder-borgerne fik deres daglige nyhedsfix...
Med hjertevarme og lune trøfler
åge hin tracthor aka den sure redaktuer
torsdag, februar 28, 2008
onsdag, februar 27, 2008
Er du den eneste, der altid poster Porno?
Ja...
Men du må huske at Stigsen ved ikke hvordan man gør, og de andre er generte!
Kan du skaffe nogen, der ikke er ord-sky, så skaf dem ind, så smider vi de in-aktive ud på bænken ...
Men du må huske at Stigsen ved ikke hvordan man gør, og de andre er generte!
Kan du skaffe nogen, der ikke er ord-sky, så skaf dem ind, så smider vi de in-aktive ud på bænken ...
Her er jeg ved siden af en meget stor indkøbsvogn i Düsseldorf... Jow, vi lever i overhalingsbanen i denne branche... Mine oplevelser fra gågaden i Hammel komemr snart - samt besøg på Europas største bordel - den er go nok!
mandag, februar 25, 2008
onsdag, februar 20, 2008
And you call this news..?
Personligt har tanken stejfet mig en del gange når jeg har set Claus Bruun og Tobias' yndling på banen for Real Madrid....
Skadefryd med en smule malurt
Det ypperste organ for assorterede og skræmmende indblik i folkedybet (EB) kan i dag berette, at de to over-promoverede, opblæste og prætentiøse pirat-narrehatte i The Storm er blevet over halet af selveste symbolet på talentløs røvballe folkemusik med laveste fællesnævner.
Ja det skulle være ganske vist, at OleF's yndlingskunstner over dem alle, manden med violinen og et ansigt som et bomberamt morænelandskab har solgt knap fem gange så mange eksemplarer af sit seneste opkog på i forvejen gammel udkogt suppe, som det er lykkes "Johan og Pernille" af komme af med af deres aldeles talentløse og dybt ligegyldige lunkne opkog på dum svensk fræsende firser-glamrock uden højdepunkter og helt uden ide.
Har man hørt bare 30 sekunder af The Storms debut-lort, kan det vel ikke komme bag på en. Mage til opblæst, osv. (se evt. ovenfor ...) skal man da lede længe efter. I hvert fald hvis man bare går uden om Yngwie J. Malmsten, og det er heldigvis ret nemt ...
Når der alligevel er lidt malurt i bægeret med den smukke følelse af skadefryd, er det selvfølgelig fordi, at nok så sjovt som det er, så er det aldrig - A-L-D-R-I-G - rart at skulle fremhæve Lars Lilholt. Nu er det gjort alligevel. Og så skal Ole da også have et billede at gokke til.
Ja det skulle være ganske vist, at OleF's yndlingskunstner over dem alle, manden med violinen og et ansigt som et bomberamt morænelandskab har solgt knap fem gange så mange eksemplarer af sit seneste opkog på i forvejen gammel udkogt suppe, som det er lykkes "Johan og Pernille" af komme af med af deres aldeles talentløse og dybt ligegyldige lunkne opkog på dum svensk fræsende firser-glamrock uden højdepunkter og helt uden ide.
Har man hørt bare 30 sekunder af The Storms debut-lort, kan det vel ikke komme bag på en. Mage til opblæst, osv. (se evt. ovenfor ...) skal man da lede længe efter. I hvert fald hvis man bare går uden om Yngwie J. Malmsten, og det er heldigvis ret nemt ...
Når der alligevel er lidt malurt i bægeret med den smukke følelse af skadefryd, er det selvfølgelig fordi, at nok så sjovt som det er, så er det aldrig - A-L-D-R-I-G - rart at skulle fremhæve Lars Lilholt. Nu er det gjort alligevel. Og så skal Ole da også have et billede at gokke til.
tirsdag, februar 19, 2008
Nu MÅ han stoppes!
Det her er simpelthen for ækelt - er der ikke snart nogen, der stopper ham Jørn?
(fra EB - naturligvis - http://ekstrabladet.dk/side9/)
mandag, februar 11, 2008
Clapton kommer til Skanderborg!
Hvor er det stort... Endeligt et stort navn man for alvor vil høre...
onsdag, februar 06, 2008
Norsk landshold på udkig efter mentaltræner
Det norske landshold hopper nu med på moden og vil ansætte en mentaltræner. Det har landstræner Åge Hareide besluttet.
Hvorfor dog det spørger jeg så...?
Hvorfor dog det spørger jeg så...?
langt ude spam navne
Hey - jeg får rigtigt meget spam - og får mange opfordringer til at afstive mit underliv...Nu har jeg besluttet at bruge det til noget brugbart - da jeg faktisk bliver nød til at tjekke mit spamfilter ind i mellem - da - Oh ve og skræk - der var nemlig røget en mail om Branchebar derind - så jeg kunne have gået glip af. Opfordringen er at smide en kommentar på bloggen med den mest syrede opfordring og/eller det latterligste navn du har modtaget fra ...
Her er mit bud - frisk fra filter:
"Fecken wie ein weltmeister" sendt af Lilian Beaver - og nej - jeg købte ikke noget...
PS: Branchebaren er på fredag kl. 16
tirsdag, februar 05, 2008
Til os uden hår
Tænk nu, hvor man har suppleret sine høje tindinger med en topmave - så kan man sgu få en toppik - det er da super!"
(Og ingen kommentarer om hvordan jeg fandt det produkt! Det gjorde som Chuck Norris på Google - det fandt mig!)
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